Tis The Season To Be Triggered 😜
Last night I took a walk along what is known as "the wall". It is a long 1.5 mile or so cement wall along the New Hampshire seacoast that protects the street and neighborhood from getting washed away. Yanno, like any other sea wall does.
When it's high tide it's normal for some of the waves to splash over the wall a bit, just enough to startle you if you're walking along the sidewalk and are unaware. But when it's low tide there is more than enough sand and beach for you to walk or relax on.
Day or night, I love taking walks here. I'll walk the full 1.5 miles one way until the end then make my way back. This is my "backyard" and I still have moments where I can't believe it.
Anyways, more and more holiday lights are being hung up on houses on the other side of the street from the wall and it is especially fun now to walk at night and look at them. The balmy 40 degree weather we've been having in New England definitely helps. And of course the appropriate soundtrack of Christmas classics.
I basically skip dance down the sidewalk as if floating on pure bliss. Ya girl's inner child loves to come out and play and this is exactly how I lift my mood when feeling blah or uninspired.
I've said it before and I will say it again: I absolutely LOVE this time of year! I am a firm believer you are never too old to bask in the magic of the season, if only you will let yourself.
That being said, the pendulum sure can swing the other way, even when you are in love with the season. For many people it's complicated. Because surely most of us will find ourselves in a conversation, interaction, or lack thereof that triggers the crap out of us.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines TRIGGERED as, and I will share the 2b definition here as I find it most appropriate, "caused to feel an intense and usually negative emotional reaction : affected by an emotional trigger"
Yanno like when "small talk" consists of someone asking when you're going to get married or have babies or "get a real job"... even if you don't relate to these specific examples I am sure you can relate to when someone you haven't seen in awhile asks you some sort of prodding inappropriate question that immediately makes you tighten in your chest, want to say that's none of your business, and get the heck out of there all at the same time?
Yeah, triggered. We've all been there.
One of my yoga teachers doesn't even use the word anymore. She uses 'activated' instead because the word triggered itself triggers people. Well ,we all know how I feel about taking back our power back, words and self, so let's take this word back too shall we?
Even when you're doing the work. Working out your own stuff. Going to therapy. Working out regularly. Quite literally working on becoming more aware of what your personal triggers are and how you are loving and supporting yourself to heal and grow. It still happens. We ALL get triggered. We're all human. Give yourself & the ones triggering you some grace.
Boundaries are important. And even when we have been putting in the work, the holidays can feel like being thrown into a blender. Especially when people around you might not be doing the work or don't have the awareness to know they may be hurting your feelings.
I'm not saying anyone is better than anyone else. And this actually helps us when we are triggered, reminding ourselves that everyone is doing the best they can and aren't saying to themselves, "whose feelings can I hurt today?" Most of the time they are completely oblivious. But it is still hard.
But if you are prepared, know these moments may happen and have the tools to support yourself, it can make your interactions with triggering friends and family way easier to manage.
If you can prepare then you give yourself more time and space to focus on and enjoy the magic!
I didn't even mean for it to work out this way but I realize that when we prepare, just like the wall that keeps the ocean at bay, we can still enjoy ourselves without getting completely washed away by our emotions. I see having a trigger toolkit like having the wall. You can dance and prance along to your favorite holiday music without getting taken down by a surprise wave of a triggering situation. Sure you might get splashed here and there, but really that's no big deal and you'll be ready to laugh it off.
I decided to have this month's WOO WOO WEDNESDAY virtual workshop earlier than the past couple to give space to enjoy the holidays but also to give us all some space earlier in the month to prepare ourselves. I do personally understand how thinking about attending family gatherings can feel like preparing for battle. But it doesn't have to be that way. We can think of it as another opportunity to show up as our true authentic loving selves. Prepared for heightened emotions and prepared to stay optimistic.
So mark your calendars! This month's WWW will be Wednesday, December 13th, 2023 8-10pm! (Hopefully none of you are invited to Taylor Swift's birthday party that evening ;) hehe) Sorry, couldn't help myself!
But seriously I hope to see you there! This past month's workshop we really went even deeper than before and the consensus was everyone feeling so grateful for the love and support of our little creative! Being able to show up as your true self and be vulnerable and know others are fully holding space for that is truly an amazing experience that can change lives.
It's hard out here being human and having all these experiences and feelings and stuff! Hard enough but not necessary to deal with alone. That's where WWW comes in :)
Want to learn more or Register?
One more, because, c’mon just look at that sunset sky…
